Welcome, formerly known as 'Salford Swim Swim'. This is a Manchester blog about running and swimming and random stuff. Oh and mental health, it is good to be mentally healthy. Which we of course are not.......so if you're not too then check this out.........Moodswings

Thursday, 4 July 2013

When you get one bum cheek bigger than the other, zombies & frazzles

I am some what delicate today.

Please note I am Sam - not Kath - this will save confusion when you read on. Kath doesn't drink & hasn't fallen off any wagons. 

Drinking booze after exercise is a terrible, terrible idea and anyone who dares to do it will be punished with a plague. My dehydrated body just soaked up red wine like spongebob and has left me with a quivering shell. I am spending a lot of time wishing that furniture around me will morph into a mattress with an endless supply of diet coke and frazzle crisps.

I went to body combat last night and its left me with an arse injury, well half an arse injury because I seemingly have only over exerted one of my buttocks (the right one). Every time I stand up I am leaning one side.

This plus the agony of a hangover makes me look like an extra from the 'walking dead'.

This is me, except I have a bum and it hurts. I wonder if she has phantom bum pain. Though that would mean that Zombies could feel pain which I suspect they can't but then they do moan a lot, so who knows.

I have some serious concerns that one of my 'cheeks' will become rounder and more overly developed than the other and then people will point or maybe even try to rest their drinks on it in bars. How will I find underwear? So many implications, I can't see there being any benefits to it.

Must work harder on the 'left'.

I think I am going to the Spar to get some frazzles, or some salt & vinegar discos. Yes, that is what I shall do.

Bye then

oh, and thank you again for all your kind and support re: the triathlon. And your money, that has been brilliant too!


Tuesday, 2 July 2013

The importance of balance & remaining calm and not punching people full on in the snot box

Well howdy

I would just like to extend you folks some firm handed 'high fives' for all your sponsorship.

I am incredibly moved by your generosity. And I have blurted a few eye spits over all the donations i have received from colleagues at the university that I have never met.

You people rock in a cool and non ironic manner.

So. I feel it my duty to update you all on my progress. Training is going well, suspiciously so in fact. So well, I just don't trust it. Any moment now something is going to break or fall off.

Life/work/exercise balance is going super shit. I am writing this whilst stirring a dirty pasta pack and trying to amuse a neglected and demanding Burmese kitten. I don't know how people do this and have children, I salute you, you insane, masochistic beings. Bravo.

It's 9 o'clock and I am inches away from sitting on the kitchen floor with a spoon and a tub of utterly butterly. 

But let me update you on what your money is forcing me to do. Last night I did what is called a 'brick' session, aptly called so I think because after it you feel like someone has taken a brick and smashed it over and over again all over your body. Or maybe its called 'brick' because you want to brick yourself to death after it. Who the feck knows.

So last night - 40 mins cycling, high reps then slow reps, then straight onto the treadmill for 30 min run (5km), then followed by 20 mins of weight lifting.

Tonight, 30 min semi-hard (maha) cycle followed by an immediate 30 min run and a 15 min easy swim. As well as a 20 min ride to work and a 20 min ride back from the gym when some audi man thought it oh so hilarious to super splash me, but I got my own back cause I thought dead mean thoughts about him, including wishing his ability to maintain an erection is diminished and that a bird poos on his face. Not my best work but i just don't have time at the moment to think of any more suitable fantastical punishments.

Now I am going to go because I have to try and fit sleep in and in order to fight all the adrenalin pumping through my body, I am going to mash a couple of nytol into a red wine and then suck it through a straw*

*don't do this without consulting with your doctor first.

Bye peeps

Sam x

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