Welcome, formerly known as 'Salford Swim Swim'. This is a Manchester blog about running and swimming and random stuff. Oh and mental health, it is good to be mentally healthy. Which we of course are not.......so if you're not too then check this out.........Moodswings

Saturday, 30 March 2013

Warning: explicit photo, lumps and the resurrection.

The we're back post may have been a little premature. But Kath did fully intend to post but she's a lazy cow is training for the London marathon and is spending most of her time in running hobbling, eating pizza, crying and getting sports massages from Boltonian students - which is more painful I believe than the running.

anticipating Kath at the end

It's not pretty to watch her try and sit down, she looks like a drunk backpacker trying to squat over a Thai floor toilet at a full moon party. Poor thing. She is nearly ready for the big day and I am sure you will join me is wishing her luck.

Maybe she will have a post in her after the event but in the mean time she just hasn't got enough time in the day.

As for me, well I have plans......alongside my cousin and maybe Kath I am hoping to compete in the Salford Triathlon in August.

My training has been on hold for a bit cause I was waiting to have my third boob removed from my shoulder. It wasn't technically a boob, but a lipoma and it needed to come out cause at some point it was likely going to grow arms and whisper "open your mind Quaid, open your mind".

For those of you with no filmic knowledge a full explanation is included in the video below (scroll to 1 min and 30 seconds , or just watch the whole film because it is truly epically amazing and Sharon Stone is so cool and looks the sh!t in her power suit).

Anyway, I have had the little sucker (Derek, I called him Derek) out now but I am now in the recovery phase and can't get going just yet.

But for those of you who like gratuitous things, here's a salacious scar shot.

Nothing like a sharpie marker to fill you full of confidence.

No, only joking - I will put that in another post for you sicko's if you promise to keep reading because at some point I am going to want some money out of you people.

We started this blog to raise more money for Moodswings for our first swim. Well now I need your money for something else. My Ma has been diagnosed with Motor Neurone Disease and I am proper pissed off about it. There isn't a cure but there could be so that my friends is why this blog is coming back alive.

This post is getting dangerously long so more on that later but for now I will leave Derek to say goodbye.

Say goodbye Derek..........


Love Sammy x

Friday, 1 March 2013

We're back........

That's right, or to be more precise Kath is back. Silly cow has accidentally won a place on the London Marathon - haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

It's taken me a week to stop laughing about it to get on here to tell you about it.

She will be running it for Moodswings and has promised to blog.

Kath - I just told people you're going to blog so get on it you lazy Bolton pie.

I would love her to run it in fancy dress, such as this but seeing as she f**k all time to train it might be a push and also may cause her immediate death which I wouldn't want because I would get all of her work and have to deal with students on my own, also it might be a bit sad.

I'm not off the hook either, we will be doing a triathlon over the summer but at the moment I have a reprieve as I am having a fat lump chopped off my shoulder next week. I always knew I was a fatty lump but now a medical professional has confirmed it to me.

It's on my medical notes too. I need to kick some ass over this next week otherwise I run the risk of grossing out to the size of that pepperami man above. I'm not going to have much to do over the next few weeks, other than to eat and spit olive stones at the telly cause Eamon b@stard Holmes will be crapping on about himself of 'This Morning'.

Olive stones, look at me. I'm so middle class. To be fair I only just started eating them and the Warrington part of me prefers a pickled onion and a grope at the back of the golden square mall.

That's enough of that chat. Laters

Sammy x

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