So, I have started swimming again. I all the bad bits have come swimming back - ha 'swimming back', get it! I am funny and I sing the Beatles incredibly well and accurately.
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| an angry beaver |
So here are the official bad bits about swimming:
1. Number one with a bullet, maintaining ones bikini line. Painful, arduous, expensive and dangerous.
I am not very good at this, I don't swim without it looking appropriate but I continue to think I can wax successfully myself. I can't and can be seen with rather red looking plucked chicken type skin with some regularity. There is nothing like freshly plucked ginger skin to make people sick in their mouths a little, I see them gulping it back down while they are swimming lengths.
2. Getting wet, not sexy. Wet hair, stinking of chlorine.
3. Other peoples feet, just fecking wrong. Kicking me in my face.
3. Swimming caps, ugly making machines.
4. Getting water in your inner ear. I spent most of last night with a cotton bud in my ear moshing violently over my bed. I now have a sore ear and whiplash.
5. Overly confident naked people in changing rooms. There is one woman in the changing room at Bannatynes that dances naked with a pair of plastic bags on her feet. Sometimes she bends over, I think I accidentally saw one of her ovaries when she did this last week.
There are plenty more but I can't be bothered finishing this post, here's some Beatles. YEAH - FRIDAY
Have a top weekend, both Kath and I are going to be a year older after this weekend. She is going to eat her weight in cake and I am going to put my eating pants and dancing shoes and stalk Mike Joyce of the Smiths at his club night.
Love
Sam
