Thank you for making our week interesting.
We have just about survived despite the government slashing our budgets like a set of tyres in gorton. I thought I better include a little guide to those who are new to University and the north.
Sam's top tips for freshers -
- Try not to use the words 'basically' and 'literally' excessively - you are not 'literally dying'
- I know they give you a fresh new pair of ugg boots and denim hotpants in your freshers welcome pack but you don't have to wear them - its okay to be an individual, in fact we like it.
- Lads - its Manchester, its cold, it rains and you look like idiots wearing shorts and flip flops - save it for the beach. Also, its not acceptable to wear loafers without socks here.
- Do not under any circumstances talk about your 'gap yah'
- Learn the local dialect and don't look at locals like they are stupid. Manchester is not London - you're in the north now so adapt
- Pub golf = Bad
- Do not dordle on Oxford Road, one of these days someone is going to get all Michael Douglas in Falling Down on you and it could be me, it could be Kath or any other person who lives round here.
- Under no circumstances ever utter the words "I pay your wages!"
- Be nice to people - they'll be nice back too, promise
- Learn how to cross the road properly - green cross code is cool - Stop, Look, Listen
- Don't tell lies to your parents