I’ve been out running a couple of times with the Garmin.
My training plan for old and infirm people suggested that, if it wasn't too much trouble, I should do 3k – I could take all day, stop for a cuppa (and maybe a doze) and get the bus part of the way if I needed to save my legs. Sam’s probably insisted she should bloody well get on with sprinting 100k before she could have any breakfast.
I set off, the Garmin found a little man in space and he started tracking me. Occasionally he’d turn to his colleague and say “Look how slowly mine’s going!”, “Blimey, she’s not going very far is she! I suppose she needs to be careful at her age” and “Look at how very supportive those trainers are. You can tell she’s had her gait analysed.”
He did some magic and some numbers appeared on the Garmin screen – it was all very marvellous and high tech. Except then I found the display was in miles – someone should tell the Garmin Martians that we’ve joined the Common Market these days. The clock was ticking on my run, so I couldn’t stop to go through all the menus, and besides I hadn’t read any of the instructions despite having them in 13 languages, so I started converting miles to kilometres in my head. I’m not saying I’m a bit slow on the uptake or anything, but by the time I’d done this I’d run more than 3k.
I wasn’t going to run on Friday, but the bloody plan emailed me to check how my run had gone, and I didn’t want to admit that I hadn’t bothered and start making up excuses to a website, so I went. I thought I’d show the plan I’m not really as past-it as it thinks, so I went a little bit further and faster than it told me to.
I couldn’t move yesterday morning. My legs were in agony, and my lower back didn’t feel up to much either. I haven’t mentioned that to the plan though - I'm not giving it the satisfaction.
Luckily (but not very) I’ve had lower back pain in the past, so I know what sorts it out. I had backache for several years, and just assumed, as you do, that it was imminent kidney failure due to the amount I drank. I certainly wasn't going to the doctor about that - they'd just tell me to give up drinking! Eventually my back completely went and I had to crawl to the GPs, expecting dialysis and a probable kidney transplant that day. Turned out it was just run of the mill, non-specific lower back pain, and, somewhat anti-climactically, she recommended Neurofen and swimming. The Neurofen got nowhere near it, but when I got round to swimming it worked wonders.
As you can see I've really run out of inspiration for swimming-related pics....
So it was back to the pool yesterday. I quite like swimming now because a) I know I can sort of swim, b) I don’t have to do it outside, and c) it isn’t running. And it sorted out my various aches and pains, I hardly groan at all now when I stand up, so all is well with the world.
Except now I’ll have to swim as well as run. Bloody hell.
So, if you see me, yes, I probably will have lost weight. It is what happens when you stop drinking your bodyweight in wine every day, and start exercising. And yes, I am eating. This afternoon, for example, I have made my way through a fair few Ginger Nuts and half a packet of Hobnobs Cookies. And I very much have my eye on the other half.