Welcome, formerly known as 'Salford Swim Swim'. This is a Manchester blog about running and swimming and random stuff. Oh and mental health, it is good to be mentally healthy. Which we of course are not.......so if you're not too then check this out.........Moodswings

Tuesday, 31 May 2011

Reasons why I am not doing a half Marathon in Warrington

I am rubbish at running. I was always second to last at cross country at School, and the child I beat had severe asthma. And both legs tied together.

There’s only one place big enough for a half Marathon in Warrington, and that is IKEA. I would certainly get lost, and equally certainly buy 4000 napkins in a variety of colours en route. 

The shopping opportunities for running are enormous.  I’d definitely need custom-made, designer trainers for all sorts of terrain, some sort of device that told me how far and how fast I’d run at every training session, running tops, shorts (and I last wore shorts in about 1993), special socks, something to carry my keys in, a Nike water bottle and whatever else caught my eye on the Internet on a daily basis.  Sports Direct are already rubbing their hands together at the mere thought of it. I’d be bankrupt well before September. I’m still paying for the shopping  that Sam made me do in the outlet place at the Lowry.

I can’t lose any more weight.  I have clothes in four different dress sizes in my wardrobe, and it’s costing me a fortune in bras as, well, things aren’t what they were. I saw the mother of one of the boys’ friends for the first time in ages recently, and she apparently told her daughter that I look ill. (Aren’t kids great for passing on the comments that you definitely thought would stay at home? Just wait ‘til she hears what I’ve now said about her. I'm not sure the boys had heard all those words before, secondary school or no secondary school.) Presumably she thinks I’m pining away without my ex partner.

It is such a cliché to hit 40 and start doing this stuff. Next I’ll be upping sticks and joining a commune, growing my own food and home educating the kids or something. (Actually, no, scratch that last bit. Half term is killing me.) At least when I was 30 I just went on a few training courses.

So I’m not doing it. I’ve not checked the website, I have no idea if I’m free on 18th September. Craziest idea I ever heard.

Warrington half marathon

In a moment of post holiday bliss I did something silly, I've signed up for the Warrington Half Marathon in September. Mostly cause my mate Matty is doing it and I hate being left out, I am clearly a massive 'FOMO' - as my mate kimbo would say. And yeah, I want to beat him. And yeah, I will probably get my ass kicked again but you've got to try right?

So yeah, it was silly. I don't think I am going to officially run for charity yet cause we have squeezed a heck of a lot of money out of you folks. The whole point of the blog was to raise more money but I want to leave it open for people to donate if they want cause Moodswings need the pennies.

So the question is, do you want me to keep blogging???

I''ve put a nifty voting button at the top of the page. Which ever gets the most votes wins - so get cracking on your one click.

When I asked Kath about a half marathon she promptly told me to 'eff off' but you never know she may change her mind? Maybe I could just get her to blog anyway? Kath???

peace out - sam x

Thursday, 19 May 2011

more photos for ya x

Sam's scared - Kath laughs

warm up - as if we don't look stupid enough
the humiliation never ends
swim kath swim
big feet in action
Mmmm, hepatitis soup
get your foot out of my face - i have a foot phobia!
i actually look like i know how to swim here - more fool you

remember I am fatter and significantly shorter than henderson
encouraging signage

kath's super fast finish

me - hot on her tail (yes, she has a tail & horns)

ahh finish - don't we look gross

Big thanks go out to everyone who came to support us on the day.

and super big spanking thanks to Mags who kindly took these pictures
x x x x x x

Wednesday, 18 May 2011


Do you know anyone in need of Moodswings support?

click on the logo to visit their website

Moodswings is an award winning Manchester based Charity founded in 1999 to help people recover from mood problems and the severe emotional distress they can cause.

Mood problems can range from periods of severe anxiety or depression to episodes of high and low mood. The effects on education, employment, relationships and family life can be devastating.

The work of the Charity is based on a belief that people can recover from severe mood problems and move on to lead happier and fuller lives.

From its centre in Manchester, Moodswings reaches out across the Nth. West and beyond with a message of real hope and optimism for individuals and their families and friends.

Monday, 16 May 2011

The Great Salford Swim 2011 part 2

Just my little bit, cos Sam's already said it all really.

Well, reader, I did it.

This is me avoiding doing the warm up exercises at the start....

And me dreaming of getting to Pizza Express...

And me swimming, with soundtrack provided by my loyal fans... I'm the one at the front, in case you had to ask.

And me, having finished it. I did it in 38 minutes, which is considerably less time than I thought it would take.

Thanks to everyone for their support. Particularly Moodswings.

Sunday, 15 May 2011

The Great Salford Swim 2011 part 1

We did it!

And yes, Kath beat me. By 2 mins 15 seconds. She whooped me, though in my defence I had to stop a few times in the first half mile because my goggles failed me. I also swallowed pints of water when little waves flew over my head and had a massive panic. Kath kept her cool and swam right through.

this is kath laughing at me - how cruel. just cause she looks better in a wetsuit

But I concede, she beat me. The scores go like this..

1st place. Kath Henderson with 38 mins on the nose
2nd place. Sam Ward with 40 mins and 15 seconds

We smashed our target which was 45 mins, we could have swam in the sub 50 wave. Who would have thumped it?!?

some action shots of me, sorry there are some of kath to follow when Mags emails them to me

this is one of 3 epic goggle fails

I got stuck behind some blue peter presenter so no doubt I will be on telly. My dad reckons so anyway.Yey - so happy to finish. My legs then went to jelly and I had to be lifted out by two kind chaps

Thanks to all the DSO and Moodswings dudes and family who came to support us.
Thanks to you folk for your generous donations and kind words.
Thanks to all you fella's and lasses who have been reading our blog from all over the world including the US, Italy, Singapore, Russia, Japan, Hong Kong, Germany, Denmark, Indonesia, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, UAE, Belarus, Israel, Switzerland and many more.

We are now pizza'd up, hypothermic, stinking like cold poo soup and still sticky from neck lube. what a day!

so this is me after I found out kath beat me


There is still time to donate if you want to, remember this is about Moodswings and the terrific work they do.

For Tom and Linda and their team of superstars

p.s. get well soon major tom

The day of reckoning...

The Internet ate my last post. I suspect Sam of bringing down the whole of Google Blogger across the world to bring my stats down. If you didn't read it then it was witty, pithy and dead intelligent - definitely my best ever. If you did then I guess you know it wasn't

Well, today's the day. Oh good.

I've carried out my last minute preparations. 

1) I had my hair cut yesterday. Admittedly it's likely that I'll be wearing a minging bright yellow swimming hat in any photos, but please remember that underneath my hair is sleek and immaculately styled. 

2) Took yesterday off exercising. Somebody told me I should take it easy in the run up to the event and I followed this advice to the letter. Admittedly it was Sam, who wants nothing more than to beat me. Not that anybody but Sam has any doubt that she will, by a margin of anything up to two weeks. She is younger, fitter and, fairly crucially, knows how to swim. I think having swimming lessons beforehand is cheating personally.

Oh, dear, how did that picture of Sam get in there again?

3) Ate my own bodyweight in takeaway curry last night. This will build up my muscles and will not make me sink and drown. If I say it enough times it'll make it true.

4) Distracted myself by watching Eurovision with some friends. My first sober Eurovision - surely the biggest milestone yet. Where is Azerbajan anyway? Moldova - you were robbed.


5) Just off now to breakfast on low fat yoghurt, dried fruit and seeds. And maybe a chocolate Hobnob flapjack, or even two.

Sooooo looking forward to the end! Off for pizza in Pizza Express afterwards. I'm even going to eat the crusts.

Massive amounts of luck to Sam! And thank you so much to everyone who has sponsored us. We are stunned by how much has been raised - people have been so generous. I hope you all know you don't get it back if I drown.

Tom from Moodswings pointed out that in previous times I would have been pretty much permanently drunk in the run up to this swim. He is wrong - see it does happen. I wouldn't have been doing the swim at all. So thanks Tom, and Moodswings. This is all your fault.

Saturday, 14 May 2011

17 hours to go...

I am very, very scared. I have had some bad karma today and I am not feeling great. some girl robbed my purse out of my bag last night and everything has gone downhill since then.

to make matters worse i have a massive headache. it'll be fine though, WON'T IT. Tell me it will be fine, please.

so this has spooked me....

images are from the Great Swim Facebook page

If anyone fancies coming to watch you need to head down to Salford Quays for midday. The Manchester 10K is also running so it's a great day for sport. A lot of the roads will be closed so I recommend you get the tram and take the "Harbour City" stop as the start of the swim is right next to Media City.

Good luck to all those running, I am sad to miss it this year. And super luck to little Sarah Leechy who is running the Lempster Half Marathon tomorrow, sorry Leominster Half.

i managed to only take one flip flop again to my last swimming training session, this does not bode well. i am truly a plank.

I guess these are the last words of a condemned woman - as usual I feel i should use someone elses to really emphasise how I am feeling. So, I leave you with the greatest band ever....

Thanks for all your support and donations - love Sammy x x x x

Thursday, 12 May 2011

3 days to go...

yes, it's true I did only bring one flip flop last night along with my pj bottoms and a used facewipe. I did forget my goggles. My swimsuit was still wet so I had to wear my bikini as well - like wrapping cheese wire round a raw pork leg.

What was rubbish was I asked the Uswim folk how much they sold their goggles for - £15. Are you having a laugh, I bought my super duper ones for 8 quid. So they kindly said they would lend me a pair from the lost property.

She only went and gave me a pair of kids goggles didn't she, which cut the blood supply off to the bridge of my nose which means I now have a dead nose and a little bruise in between my eyes which I have had to cover which very thick super Mac make up. And everything went blurry in them.

Dave, the coach guy who gave Kath the useful swimming/dancing tips very kindly saw I was struggling and gave me another pair which were wonderful - and I could see in (I kept on swimming into walls and people in the others). What a nice guy I thought and helpful. Ahhhhh

We swum the full length of this twice last night.

So, the BBC were there last night filming. If you saw Northwest tonight you may have caught a glimpse of Kath or my tiny little heads in the far distance.Here's the link - there is no way to tell which one is us. I would like to claim I was the show off who dove in but I don't know how to dive.

Click here if you want to watch - see it is effing freezing and looks it. You can drag the little play thing at the bottom until you see water. You will also get to see Dave.

Kath fancies Tony Livesey, I think I do as well. He's very tall and he looks nails.

Kath and I swam loads last night, we even swam under the bridge and round. I think I did just under 2k, I couldn't tell you how far Kath did as she bolted off as soon as she hit the water. Mumbling something about dancing or swimming, something angry anyway.

So last night was a reasonable success, I was really cold. Some other ginger guy told me he had to get out because he got 'lock jaw'. I couldn't stand up straight after I got out and fell completely over trying to put my tights on in the tent. It took 4 attempts, at last I realised if I sit down then I won't fall over. Then one of the channel swimmers told me that your balance gets all messed up when you swim on 3 and you get disorientated - damn right. I can stand straighter after 6 shots of sambuca.

My Mum thought this was hilarious of course and laughed at me. She also told me when I was in the water one of the lads accidently went in the girls changing tent and got heckled and laughed at. He was much more embarrassed she said.

this is where my mum and dad sat and watched.

My Dad also shouted to me in the water about how fast Kath was and I need to get going, he also lied and said she did 3 laps cause he knew I would get all competitive like and do more. He was right of course and now I am knackered and want to go to sleep on my desk.

I'm going to miss Dave. I don't know what Kath's problem is, I also dance like I swim and it works fine for me. In fact I like to think I am dancing in the water - yeah graceful. Just like this.....

YEAH, dancing in your chair is the best when your so drunk you stood out in terrential rain and don't actually care that your hair is like a birds nest.

3 days to go - sh!t.

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