Welcome, formerly known as 'Salford Swim Swim'. This is a Manchester blog about running and swimming and random stuff. Oh and mental health, it is good to be mentally healthy. Which we of course are not.......so if you're not too then check this out.........Moodswings

Saturday, 9 April 2011

How to talk to a non-drinking alcoholic

1) When the non drinking alcoholic (there must be a better word for it than that) arrives at your  house, offer them a drink, then quickly follow it up with the words “a soft drink”. It’s best if you then list all the soft drinks you can think of, in case they don’t know what this means.

2) On no account invite the formerly inebriated one to a pub. They will certainly succumb to alcohol. It is, after all, the lack of availability of alcohol, rather than a considered decision, that has led to them not drinking.

3) Don’t mention alcohol, or its effects, in the hearing of the now sober person.  They cannot identify with anyone who has enjoyed themselves drinking, nor with anyone who has a hangover. It’s not as though either of those things have ever happened to them.

4) In the event of forgetting 3, it’s best to stop talking altogether, look embarrassed and change the subject. The ex-drinker will definitely not notice.

5) Tell the no longer permanently hungover person how much you drink. They will be able to give you an instant diagnosis of whether or not you are an alcoholic. 

I honestly couldn't think of a picture to put in there, so thought I'd follow Sam's example and put in a cute cat pic to try and boost the ratings. It's cheap I know.


  1. Cheap maybe but a winner, always.

    Kaz x

  2. Another good write up. Us sober folk have to stick together u know!

  3. Oh my God Margaret, you're sober?! I had no idea...


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